Intention is a noun. Defined it means "a thing intended; an aim or plan." I'm not a big fan of the word. I "intend" to do a lot of things. I "intend" to wake up early to exercise. I "intend" to eat healthy all day long. I "intend" to be organized, focused and totally job-minded at work, letting nothing, or no one distract me. Intention feels more like guilt. It feels like being insufficient. I "intend" to do better. I always "intend."
Being older has taught me a few things. Age is truly just a number. If we counted up the years I can actually remember, I'd probably only be like 22. I don't feel like I've "matured" really, so 22 feels right. Being a mom has also been a learning endeavor. Never underestimate your teenagers ability to best you. Trust, though obviously 5 letters long, is a 4-letter word when considering the golden years of adolescence. Do we really remember what it was like? Was it really so hard that we hated anything and anyone that had anything to do with us? Being a full-time worker bee has given me more perspective for sure. I was always in jobs in the past where my abilities were respected. Where I was hired for talent- rather than my attention to detail when entering data into a computer. I know, I know, I asked for it! I convinced myself that this was where I needed to be- if only to better myself physically, and mentally. To Hell with money and stability! Right? Perspective all right. We'll just see how long I can handle the mundane.
Getting wiser does have it's benefits. I have learned recently how my years of not caring have led me through a deep forest, and the only way out of it is climbing the tallest tree to find my path... and when I do, the path is straight uphill, with rocks and sand and those obnoxious weeds that stick to your socks. While not a benefit, I'm thinking I'm at least a bit further up the tree right now. At least I know where I'm headed. At least I'm not wandering aimlessly like so many younger than me. Knowledge truly is a powerful thing. Being confident and sure of oneself comes from KNOWING YOUR SH**!
So, my intentions are to release here. To share too little or too much. I happen to be "Superfluous" myself... a little excessive? I figure the english language is as good a place as any to find inspiration, so that's how it all begins. Hang on for the most spotty and lane-changing ride- that is my brain and how it works.
